Where to begin?

OK, so this has been an incredible journey so far, not just life (although it has been a trip) but the last several months. God has been orchestrating every step and it is almost becoming funny how He has been opening every door without a doubt.

first the pay check from my former employer, the hospital, was a blessing. Then my former boss Kevin letting me pick up a few shifts while I wait for Charity to finish her tour of duty at Kohl's was very cool.

And now my Pastor, Joey Steelman, hookin me up with an interview tomorrow which I am very confident about.

This job will be perfect, pay scale is right, and if looks like I will have time for family and ministry.

Oh and we feel like we have heard from God concerning the ministry that we are moving to Stockton to pioneer.

Collision Ministries, where Christ and culture collide.

You know what they say, you can't have an impact without a collision.

So pray for us and for our kids and for Collision.

Just a thought!

If they, (and who are "they" anyway?) have made it illegal to drive while on the cell phone, in essence forcing folks to run out and buy one of them blue tooth mathingys, so as to be driving "hands free".

Then I purpose they, (again with the mythical "they"), make it illegal to walk around malls, offices, playgrounds and hospitals with said blue toothy things looking like total dorks.

If you are one of the people I have responded to thinking your talking to me? You stink! get off the phone!








Just another Deep thought......bye.

P.S. sorry for all the "" in this blog, collateral damage.

Prayer time!

This morning at 430am while I was driving to work I had some prayer time and let me tell you it sure was awesome. With my 20-25 minute commute to work I was able to have a pretty incredible talk with God. At first it started off a bit mechanical, bless the wife, touch the kids and yadda yadda, but then I started breaking through and having some real one on one time with the Father.

God and I really had some commune time during the commute time, now you might be saying Bill, PB, William, knuckle head (depending on our relationship) don't you always have dynamic prayer time?

Well.......

No!

Sometimes it's hard to have real deep meaningful conversations with Jesus. Sometimes my words sound to contrived and thought out, even religious, instead of heart felt and natural. God is not some far off out of touch "pope" like character, and I don't talk to Him like He is just "one of the boys".

It's mornings like today that remind me of the delicate balance that is my prayer life....and it reminds me of how much work it takes to have a productive, passionate prayer life.

Oh yeah and all this happened before I read Charity's blog requesting prayer for those situations today. So go and check out her blog if you haven't yet, and pray.

Later!

Just an update!

I have work shifts...yes! Not that I was worried, but I was hoping that I could pick a few up right away and sure enough I did. So praise God He is still working things out, but of course He is silly rabbit.

Thank You Jesus...

Well I have a job (kinda) I have been rehired back at FRHG. I will be covering shifts and filling in where needed. It will help until I get on somewhere in Stockton.

Also my check was way better than I thought it would be and I got my guard card, which means I can be a security guard anywhere in Cali.....so yeah!

Oh man!

We are almost there. We have most of our stuff moved in and have even set up our Christmas decorations including the tree (Selah told me too say that).

I guess part of my emotional melt downs, as of late, have been due to the fact that we are living in two towns....kinda.

I want to be in Stockton full time. I want to have my job nailed down so that my wife will feel secure and we can move forward.

I need your prayers.

Will we make it through....you bet!....that's what us Hartmans do.

Joyce is watching, always watching.

So if you are reading my blog, then shame on you for not commenting on it...jive turkey.

Read the previous blog and then check this out.

Today charity is watching Joyce Meyers on the Tivo and usually Joyce speaks right to my wife's situations or what ever it is she is going through or feeling.

Well today was my turn, Joyce started talking straight at me, like if I did not know better she had read my blog from this morning.

So if you are reading my blog Joyce, no fair cause that was creepy, now cut it out!

It's the final count down.....

As I write this blog it is 3:50 in the am and I am tired and dragging bad. Friday is less than 24 hours away, Friday the day we load up the old U-haul a move our family to Stockton.

I am still in disbelief about the whole situation. If you have been following our family saga you will know that we are taking the largest step of faith in ministry that we have taken in a long time.

I've said it before and it bares repeating, I/we had became very comfy in Gridley, not a whole lot of the unexpected. Needless to say we had become pretty good and maintaining a steady course without many surprises.

If I may be honest, I was so too comfortable in Gridley....I knew where I stood as a man, and as a minister. Even working here at the hospital the last 6 months, I had a routine and I was confident in it. I had been preaching once a month for the last few months, doing worship and youth of course. But it all seemed almost too easy.

Now I know that we are called to Stockton, no doubt, but I have a lot of feelings, that I need to express and explain.

At Christian Life we had become a major part of the program, more like associate pastors than anything. Five years of service and a lot of time building up confidence with the congregation there.

Now at Lakeview, we know nobody, and nobody knows us. Will our new pastors help acclimate us to the congregation? of course, but the fact remains we are the new kids on the block.

I'm not fearful, just uncertain of the unknown...it's a natural human reaction.

A year from now when we are in full swing and have the new routine down and everything is cruising at full speed, I will look back at this blog entry and laugh....HA! But right now I just want to get in our new home and start this chapter rolling.

Today was tough....

And the funny part was that it started yesterday afternoon. Chartity showed me my mother in laws blog and the emotions started to rise to the surface. Then last night while packing up some of the kitchen I had what can only be called a mini melt down, luckily I kept it together and tried not to reveal my momentary weakness to the family. Not that I don't believe in being able to be vulnerable, it's just at this juncture there is a lot of weeping and emotions in our home and I did not want to add to the flow of tears. I did my crying in front of the church before I preached this morning...yeah!

Just something as taking Dillion (our resident College age whom is living with us) to work got me all choked up. Dillion has just recently come back to the Lord and we where talking about what God has done in his life.

Anyway this week will be amazing and everything will work out in JESUS name....Yes!

1, 20, 70, 80, and 99!

It's weird that all but two of the towns, cities or hamlets that I/we have lived are found on one of these four main road ways.

I was born in Big sir and lived in Monterey for the first 6 years of life, both on old Hwy 1.

We moved to Grass Valley and lived there until 6th grade....Hwy 20.

Then we moved to Point Arena, Hwy 1, and then Fort Bragg for Jr. High and High School, also on the old 1.

I attended Bethany Bible College although it was not on any of our listed road ways.

Then a short stay in Lake Wild Wood and then back to Fort Bragg, Hwy 20.

Then Marysville/Linda Hwy 70.

Yuba City, 20 Marysville 70.

Then I married Charity and we moved to Vacaville Hwy 80.

Oakley which was way off, then Vallejo Hwy 80 again.

Then we moved to Gridley Hwy 99 and Now Stockton Hwy 99.

Wow...ok so see its kinda weird...

lol...later.

Here is where we stand!

I have always felt that God has something in store for Charity and I. New Life Assembly in Linda, Harvest in Vacaville, and Christian Life in Gridley, all have had a major part in developing who we are in ministry. It's hard to put a finger on, but one of my mentor Pastor Joe said to me once "ministry is not a destination, but a journey".

All the faces of all the people that we have had the honor to work with join together to form the big picture of the calling on our lives. And the journey is not over. The next chapter is about to open.

We have moved nine(9) times in thirteen(13) years, seven(7) cities, five(5) churches, everything from college age ministry, youth ministry, senior pastoring, more youth ministry and jacks of all trades.

We can honestly say that we have given every opportunity in ministry 100% and have been loyal and integral at every stage. We have never taken anything lightly, and have enjoyed ever step, good and bad.

But now, with another chapter just about to start, here is where we stand!

More excited than ever.

Again, please keep us in your prayers.

Well.....

what do you think?

balance!

Don't wanna start sounding like an old rerun of the hit TV show Kung fu with David Carrdine (circa 1972–1975) or even the great Karate Kid with Ralph Macchio (1985).

But, you must have balance in life, for example. The balance between having faith for something like....um...lets say a certain house at 8720 Hacienda Court in Stockton Ca. and the over hyped "name it and claim it in Jesus name" doctrine.

See I believe God has a perfect plan, and if a person is willing to submit them selves to the Will and plan of God then everything will work out in due time.

Then there is the peace of God, and when you feel that leading you in a certain direction like 8720 Hacienda Court, then the balance is to "pray in faith believing".

So I said all that to say this.....please agree with us in prayer that God would allow us to have the perfect home in Stockton, which we believe to be 8720 Hacienda Court.

check out the link on Charity's blog for pics.

I have got to slow my brain down.

I have been loosing sleep the last few days because my mind is racing with idea's and vision for the College age/Young adult ministry in Stockton.

Joey....err excuse me, Pastor Joey keeps saying that it's a smorgasbord of potential ministry down there, and I for one can't wait to grab a plate and some silver ware and dig in.

Hard work? Sure thing, but hard work never scared us before.

Rewarding? Yeah I think so.


keep us in your prayers....K?

So hello there fine readers, first off let me say that I was whining about my blog, sorry.

Second, today was amazing, praise and worship was awesome and then Pastor announced our plans to move to Stockton to pioneer a college age ministry. I was still playing guitar and holding it together until pastor said "if you appreciate what the Hartmans have done here in five years and are excited about what God is going to do with them in the future, lets just show them some love and give them a hand."

Needless to say the standing ovation caught me off guard and choked me up.

The one thing that has marked the peace of God through out this is the response of Pastor and the church body here in Gridley, it feels nice to know that this is family and that we can come visit without any ill feelings.

With over 12 years of ministry under our belts, this last five years have been the best yet.

thank you Jesus!

Like never before.

So we are looking for shelter in our new village, and as we travel the county side looking for said shelter, we are finding new and exciting ways to trust God. Now for you reading this you are probably saying to yourself, "self, why are these crazy kids concerned about finding shelter?" well interested reader we have spent the last five (5) cinco years living basically rent free (housing came with the job). So it's kinda like the first jump back into the pool right after a long winter.....shocking!

Our needs and wants have changed since the last time we looked for shelter, and so the challenge begins. So friend, keep us in your prayers....thanks!

What?.....your kidding right?

So this is our new city, Stockton Ca. We are shocked and awed at the possibilities of what's to come. For those that are reading this blog and have no idea of who i am or my wife, welcome to the asylum where crazy is an everyday thing. We live by the code go big or go home....it's how we roll. And when God says jump we say how high.

I live with Wonder Women....

So I became complete August 10th 1996, I married Wonder Women.

I remember when she broke her foot when she was pregnant with our son Aslan.

She was so strong, I could not believe the strength she had inside, she was so stong.

And then again when she gave birth to our son Aslan and everything that could have gone wrong did. But she believed me and she trusted God when He told me that everything would be alright.

And then with the birth of our Daughter Selah, again that same strength.

Through our tough times in Vallejo, nuff said.

And then one of the hardest times we have lived through, Wonder Women got real sick and was in alot of pain. She had two procedures and recovered. Now she is super mom, working her tail off the last year raising our kids and living with me....hahahaha!

I love you Wonder Women.....I love you Charity.

wow, time warp!

So I had a "way back" moment today, we where sitting around the table this morning just after Sunday school right before Sunday service. When out of the blue like some kind of time warp, in walk Mark and Lillis Spurgeon, my cousin and his wife, our former associate youth pastor/worship leaders. It was amazing to see them and it felt like 2007 again,hahahahahah!

After service we went over to Gregs house aka my father-in-law/best friend and watched the UFC event, it really felt like old times.

I would never want to hold anyone to the past, this moment today reminded me of where we have come from and where we can go in ministry....it was a good!

Sports!

So I seldom ever mention my love of sports. Outside of growing up a huge 49ers fan and a smaller SF Giants and Oakland A's fan, I never really got into playing any traditional sports until after high school. Well I did surf alittle and always loved to watch local skateboarders way before the X-games became main stream. But that was the extent of my involvement with sports outside of some little league when I was younger. While attending Bethany Bible College in late 89/90 a fellow student and member of the Bruins basketball team showed me how to play B-ball and I quickly became a fan of the sport, although not to good a player of it.













ESPN and Sports Center along with Goerge Micheals sports machine advanced my love of all things sports, around the same time I fell in love with the Sacramento Kings....Go Kings!










Somewhere in all this mix I got a chance to watch a bootleg tap of an underground event that was banned, at one point, in almost every state. This later became known as UFC The Ultimate Fighting Championship. I have grown to love all things MMA whatever that may be.







So I said all that to say this, man I love sports.

Just a few deep thoughts......

We are called to connect with people to win them, we are not supposed to stick our heads in the sand to escape reality but to embrace the "God reality" that Jesus offers.

So here is some painful reality......

What causes more problems than most, when the act of fake face that we have been putting on for one another is stripped away by being close for long periods of time.

So the very act of relationship and being family/church reveals the true “us”. And some times that is not the “us” we want showing.

So brother So and So lets down his guard and shows the family/congregation that he is not perfect and that he has faults and the congregation recoils with horror.

That does not breed an atmosphere for openness, vulnerability and change.

I am far from perfect, ask my wife she will tell you, but who wants to be perfect, the one person who fit the job description was nailed to a cross. Sign me up? I don’t think so. I don't want to be perfect, I would like to make it to the end of the week without self destructing, that’s a good start....right?

chinese food and thirsty thursday....

So yeah, I figure that a blog should be about the things that matter most in life right?, I mean those things that you are passionate about, that drive you, that care most about. Well ladies and gentlemen, for me that would not be politics, sports and definitely not religion (even though I do love Jesus with all my heart).

The single most important thing to me in life is my family. For those who don't know I was raised by a dear sweet women, a single mother, who did the best she could to make sure I was always safe and always well fed (no comments from the peanut gallery).

But I do digress, although my mom did the very best job she could, she could not be everything I needed growing up, because she could not be a father. I remember sitting on a bench at 4:00am in downtown Fort Bragg CA. and reading my little Gideon New Testament, Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father." And at that point I became aware of the fact that I did not have to worry, that God had adopted me as one of His sons and that He would show me how to be a good husband and father. And He did, through many example like my uncle Trace Spurgeon.

Anyway I said all that to say this, there is nothing in the world like being out in public with my wife and kids and knowing that the curse that I spoke of in an earlier blog has not only been broken over me but that my son and daughter will have memories like eating Chinese food and going to the ice burgee for thirsty Thursdays.....it may mean nothing to you but it's means everything to me.

Late.

Thunder, lightning and watching the clouds....

So at dinner we heard some thunder and Selah and Aslan said they did not like thunder and lightning because it scared them. So I had this flash back of a morning in Vallejo, it was probably 5 or 6 years ago and probably about 4 0r 5 in the morning. A storm was rolling through and I was woken up by thunder and went out into the living room to watch the lightning. It was about this time that a little four year old Aslan woke up also and him a daddy sat on the porch and watched the lightning together.

What an awesome memory.

So tonight after dinner we all went out to the back yard and just watched the clouds roll by, for me it was just one of the moments that you could not buy. There we were, the four of us, just imaging the shapes of snakes, dinosaurs and our dog Sam Wise in the clouds.

Life is good!

We press on......

Five years ago this week we moved to Gridley to start a youth ministry. Hahahahahah! first, im sure those words have neve been spoken before, ever. And second I can't believe I'm speaking them now, it's been an amazing five years. And if we were not CALLED to be here, we probably would have bailed along time ago. But we will not back down, we will not run away.

Five years ago we landed here to impact an area and see God change lives, and by the Grace of God that's what we will do. We have seen 80-100 teens come out for Monday night ECHO and over two hounderd for special concerts and events.

And now we are in a tough season, just read my wifes blog at times and you can feel the attack, but we press on. God gave us favor and He gave us the key to the hearts of the teenagers in this area five years ago, and now we pray that He does it again.

Tonight it felt like five years ago, with all the potential in the world, like if it was just Charity, the kids and I then we could do it again. God is Good!

Catch a man a fish......

He eats for a day, teach a women how to sync and format media and she will download songs and movies for a lifetime.

So Charity got her palm treo and has been messing around with it for the last two days, and so she hit a snag and called in the big dogg to figure out her media opperating system......

So here I come to save the day right, and I'm messing with it and looking on line for information about what the media needs to be, you know, jpeg or what have you.

So while I am trying to be the hero, Charity figured it out all on her own. You see a truly great teacher allows the student to learn by doing. Besides I had no idea what I was doing anyway, but don't tell her that....ok?....our little secret.....shhhh...you me, me you we're good.

Dr. Who?

When I was a little boy, little Aslan, I used to watch this Tv show with my mom called Dr. Who. It was silly and kinda hokey, with cheese special effects and stuff, but i have memories of sitting with my dearly departed mom and watching.

So a little while ago my awesome mother-in-law told my wonderful wife about this show Dr. Who on he Sci Fi network, and I was thinking it was the old show I watched when I was a kid.

WELL! lo and behold this new verison on the "WHO" is amazing, not just well written, which means alot to, but has great special effects for a BBC production.

Anyway if your not into sci fi then, never mind, but if you like good programming and have the time or a Tivo then check it out.

Out of the mouth....

So we are at dinner tonight and I ask Selah and Aslan how their days went. Selah tells us a few things and stories that are awsome and then we turn to Aslan. He begins to tell us of a story they are reading in class called the yellow yacht, and in the story Aslan says that the characters in the story where "looking at the boobies"......um....what?

yeah then he says it again "they where looking at the boobies". Wow, and as innocent and pure as the driven snow He goes on with His sweet story. What an amazing little man He is becoming.

Oh and by the way, in the story that Aslan was telling us about, that they where reading in school. They where looking at bouy's....yeah!

So all that got me to thinking about how i was raised. My dear mom, God rest her soul, did all she could to raise me as safe and protected as she could, but by Aslans age I had already seen and expeirenced more of this world than i should have.


I love to watch as Aslan and Selah grow with mom and dad in the home, something I know nothing of. It brings a smile to my face to think of the fact that curse has been broken, pretty sinkin cool huh?

please comment and let me know what you think...ok?

I stand in awe....enough said

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words,
Too wonderful for comprehension,
Like nothing ever seen or heard.
Who can grasp your infinite wisdom?
Who can fathom the depth of your love?
You are beautiful beyond description,
Majesty enthroned a - bove.

And I stand, I stand, in awe of you.
I stand, I stand in awe of you.
Holy God, to whom all praise is due,
I stand In awe of you

i owe, i owe, so off to work i go!

So im finishing off a 50 hours in five days work-a-thon and its not to bad. Except for the 3.5 hours of sleep i have had in the last 30 hours, but hey, when i was younger i would laugh at sleep. Ha! i would say, and Ha! again.

but alas i am no longer young.

but i gladly release my strangle hold on being so young if I recieve in return, time with the important things in life.

so i want to introduce you to a few of the most important things in my life.


my hot wife......SMOKIN!








Our cool kids....








Alright, I'm getting ready to eat some fuel/food, shower, and then go make Rideout hospita a little bit safer...

IM OUT G! YO!

why Chartity says i should always smile.....

So i am heading off to work in just 50 minutes.....i get off alittle early tomorrow because i go back to work at 3.

so labor day was kina lame, no BBQ's or swimming, just alot of wind and allergies....sucks just alittle.

im kinda looking forward to the grave yard shift maybe there will be some interesting people to watch tonight...the crazies do tend to show up in the ER from time to time.

oh and by the way alkdjfa;lskjf;alksjdf;oijrfa;djfklamfoiajakfmlkds;fjaosfjklmfasl;kdjfalskjfasd;lfjsdfja;lskdfjl;askjfl;asdifj[erjfakdjdfkladjlkfja;lsdjf;oaijf;akjfkl;adsjfklasjdfklasjdf
just wanted to get that off my chest.....good night or good morning.....gesh what ever!

public safety?

so I got to work Saturday and a guy that I escorted off hospital grounds stopped at a flower planter to retrieve his 6 inch cooking knife. He was not cooking at the time. We are called public safety and for the life of me all i could think of was my own.

I'm not excited about the new kids on the block reunion. no really, I am scared.

um I think I am feeling the effects of sleep deprevation, um depravation....err depra..im real tired.

see ya!

EMP please!

The thought that my TiVo might be going 'kerplunk' really got me out of sorts. i mean i might miss one of my favorite shows, and even worse if it's out for a few days then what happens to my schedule, my to do list, my season passes.

Then i was thinking about cell phones, a few years ago, 8-10 to be exact hardly anyone had one. Now even little kids have them, "what am i gonna do without my cell phone?".

Computers and micro chips have wormed their way into every part of our lives, sometimes i wish, no i pray for a world wide EMP. An Electro Magnetic pulse to wipe out and clear away so much of this technology that has corrupted our thinking, our living, our being.

Come quickly EMP...come quickly

You ever get that feeling?

Like that in some way....GOd has a sense of humor above and beyond our human understanding?

i mean the first shall be last....Ha! good stuff GOd, that’s rich....and reap what you sow.....hahahahahahah just some down right funny material.

But i have a feeling that GOd is not amused by our lack of finding the humor in life’s little suddle nuances‘.

In our limited world view most successful people strive for the next rung of the ladder....never mindful of who they must climb over to get to the top of what heap it is they are ascending.

What about the least of these...those in our world who know of want and pain on a daily basis....a level of despair that most of us will never know, and that these so called "professionals" will never acknowledge.

pretty hilarious sense of humor GOd...but im begging to see a pattern in GOds comedic timing....it is more likely for the junky on the street or "addict in the alley way" to relate and subsequently "find" GOd than the "corporate" junky or "addict of the red carpet".

And of course there is the fall down funny concept of reaping what you sow...which sounds holistic and organic in thought but always seems to take a have more metallic sobering edge in execution.

The bully who learns what torment is like on a different level in life from a boss or teacher or drill sergeant. The smoker who realizes all too soon that each puff brought him or her closer to the casket to soon. The husband who's cheating ways pushes his wife into the arms of another.

i guess in these two basic ideals im finding a deeper thought...a cosmic dance that GOd himself has let play on for thousands of years. We can stomp our feet and raise or fists toward heaven and curse GOd for His twisted funny bone when things don't appear to be going our way. Or thank Him that in these obvious black comedies the moral of the story still stands...love others as you would be loved.